Amazing Reads: Amazing Spider-Man #4

And now, we dive into Amazing Spider-Man #4. With no Johnny in sight, we just get Sandman, annoying Jocks, Peter being...well Peter. Also, threats of suing and J.J. with no pants. Not sure how all that is connected. So, let us move on.

Nothing, except a bad sequel!

So we join Spider-Man in mid-whine. J.J. has launched a campaign about how evil Spider-Man is. The usual  J.J. type stuff. Well, Spider-Man is being pissy, and sees a couple of hoods casing a joint. (I do love my slang) So he leaps into action and webs these guys up. And well, they threaten to sue.

What you think this is? The '90s?

And well, to prove their threats, the hoodlums just start yelling for the police. The police show up, and demand Spidey stay behind and fill out a report. He goes bugger all to that, and leaves them in the dust.

All your fault! Never is it mine!

Well, Spidey swings off to the Daily Bugle. He leaves a present, apparently. Then he decides to follow a couple of patrol cars, and sees our villain of the week climbing a building. (With a ladder, not like our wall crawler.) Spider-Man flashes his light symbol to distract our villain. So the guy just turns around and introduces himself.

And I'll wear this shirt for 50 years.

And thus Spider-Man get's his ass handed to him. He tries to grab our Sandman, but he turns to sand. (Well, duh). When Spider-Man punches threw the sand, it becomes apparent, that this is no slouch. Though, he is a meat head. And then, another swing, and a solid as steel jaw meets him. And then weird hip thrust into Spidey, and sand blasts Peter's mask in half.

And thus the tradition of Spidey with no mask is born.

And he runs away like. Thoughts of how he's screwed goes through his head. One of which is how Sandman will out him. Of course, how would Sandman know who a punk kid in high school is, well, who knows. Sandman displays his powers, and floats down to the street below. All the while narrating to no one about how his powers work. Sandman goes off into a bank and does awesome Sandman stuff to steal things.

We join Peter fixing his mask.

And...no comment, I just like Cotton Pickin'

And plot development news kicks in. And we learn the story of Flint Marco. Two bit thug who was a badass apparently. He sneaks into a Atomic Devices Testing Center. A bomb goes off, and like everyone knows, Radiation causes everything awesome. Like Sand Powers.

After that, we discover that Pete doesn't have what every teen male should have, a lock on his bloody door! Aunt May comes in, and He hides his costume under a bath robe, and pretends to be sick, to get Aunt May down stairs and away so he can change.

One last bulletin from PCN!

We get a brief break to show that Sandman is being awesome and successful. We see that Peter didn't change out of his clothes, but instead hid under his sheets. Lord knows you could just take off the tights, Pete. The next day, Aunt may is well...aunt may.

I notice no one explains the glasses...

We cut across town to the Daily Bugle. Jameson is being an ass, trying to provide a connection to Spider-Man and Sandman. He sits in his comfy office chair, and feels webbing in his chair. Peter arrives, and Betty Brant asks Pete to bring in J.J.s pants.

And thus...I laugh...and laugh...

And so J.J. wants more photos of Spider-Man. He's going to prove that Spider-Man is in cahoots with Sandman, by running their pics together. (Cause that makes sense.)

Peter gets back to school where we get a non-sequitur about a date he may be having tonight, because someone feels sorry for him. Of course, he blows this off in an instant, because of his other responsibilities. But you know, she's a no name blonde who doesn't matter anyway. Elsewhere Sandman escapes police and breaks into a high school. Ten bucks if you can guess which one. And Peter is out wandering the halls, because plot says so.

Peter...are you really that dumb?

And so, Sandman breaks into the most obvious classroom. Once he's in there, he demands the principal to give him a diploma.

Aw, days when Public Schools cared.

And as Mr. Marco is about to pound the Principal, Spidey bursts in with a luck punch and clocks the Sandman. And so we the fight a-going. Spider-Man fights with a little smarts this time, using his Spider-Sense to realize he's gonna punch a hardened Sandman. So instead he grabs his head and tosses him out the door. We get this brief interlude.

Why this comic keeps ragging on Peter, I'll never know.

And so we gets to the fightin. Sandman turns his fists into giant hammers, Spidey jumps around. Can you tell I'm bored by the fight? It seems so...padding. After a page of just showing off powers, we get something interesting. When Spider-Man Punches through Sandman, Flint turns solid again, trapping Spider-Man there.

Like that, See.

Marco just starts head butting the Spider-man. Beating his head over and over again. Until Spider-Man throws himself backwards, and slams Marco's head into the stair banister. Sandman dissolves into Sand, and reassembles himself to engulf our hero, into a small ball. Which Spider-Man then promptly throws himself down some stairs. That is what he does...I have no better way to describe it.

And that kids, is how Spidey broke his own neck.

And our fight ends pretty quickly, because despite Peter being an ass, there was a point to Janitor-Man showing up. To show off the awesome vaccum. Which is 100% air tight.

I am brilliant!

So, afterwards, since our hero is a self serving jack, we get him faking a few photos by grabbing some sand and tossing it around, punching through it, and taking photos. He then appears on the roof of the school, showing off his light bright, and J.J. wants him coming down.

Because he's awesome, J.J. That's why.

So Spider-Man lowers the casket, where I awesome Sandman has either cleverly escaped to fight another day, or suffocated. I don't think we ever see him again. Maybe, lord knows he doesn't appear next in a Fantastic Four issue fighting the Human Torch. That would just be ludicrous. So Spidey hides in the school and changes back to Peter Parker. J.J. Shows up, being an ass.

And that is how J.J. found out about Peter's "weird" photos

And so our issue wraps up with constant mocking by Flash Thompson, some guy realizing that Peter is ripped, and the public hating Spider-Man, cause you know...They accept every other masked vigilante, but him.

Let the brooding begin!

And thus wraps up Amazing Spider-Man #4. Is it good. Well, not really. Is it bad. Well, not really. Is it boring and dear lord did it take me days to do this. Hell yeah. Look, for a completest, you might as well read this. It's early Spider-Man it's Sandman's introduction. We get a name besides some stupid flashy name, like Vulture, or Doctor Octopus. So there is a plus. But for now, I hope things get better.

Amazing Spider-Man #4 Rating: Dull.